Jia Lin’s Weblog

Fifi and I took a red-eye flight to Boston. She’s been shy recently, which made the flight easier for me, and maybe for every passenger, since she would not want to walk around the plane like what she did in June when we flew back to China. Bin had come here two days earlier for his conference. We stayed at Le Meridien Cambridge which was used to be Hotel MIT and it was located next to MIT campus. I liked Harvard better, so Fifi and I took a stroll along Massachusate ave. to Harvard Square this afternoon. We had a late late lunch at Borders-Mexican food. It was very gloomy when we got to the campus, Fifi’s still happy that she could finally allowed to run around. Like every parent, I kept telling her, that’s where she would be joining in 17 years. I’m not sure she likes the idea-she’s at the age of responding with ”no” to everything I suggests. Yesterday we went to Boston Museum of Art, but majority of the building and sites were disappointingly under reconstruction. There were more people in the cafeteria than in the exhibition rooms, including the special exhibition showing Assyrian Art from British museum. Fifi took a great interest in a series of stone relief showing an ancient king hunting lions. 

The best part of this trip is that I got a lot of quality sleep. I’ve been struggling with the sleeping problem for a while-stressful work, loss of the baby and the sinking economy. I usually tend to worry too much, so insomnia that might be the result of the recent happenings doesn’t come as a surprise. Pharmacy needs my doctor’s approval to give me refill and the doctor wants to see me first to give me more sleeping pills, but I was too busy to visit the doctor-so not too much help there. The laptop my office just gave me (it’s a Dell by the way) has a battery that only lasts for exact 30 seconds, so I end up not to bring a computer for my trip. It has been such a blessing, it turns out, because I did not need to worry about the work, and I slept through whole mornings yesterday and today. I’ve forgotten sleep could be such sweet experience (when the baby’s cooperative and enjoying sleeping in your arms no matter how long)- waking up in the sunny noon of Cambridge, seeing yellow and red leaves against the blue sky outside the large window. On the left, Harvard is all classical with buildings of red roofs, and on the right, MIT is all square buildings of grey or white-you can’t mistaken the two, just looking out from the window, 8 floors above sunny Cambridge.   

lost a baby at 5 weeks. It hits me hard. everything happens so suddenly, bleeding, slight cramping, then it’s gone, 2 o’clock in the morning. I cried so hard, for being so helpless and powerless when it’s gushed out, for all the fun and beauty this baby is missing in this world, for its fading heartbeat (my imagination) and the tiny invisible body that I didn’t have a chance to hold or even touch. Worst of all, the disillusion that there won’t be another life with me inside anymore, the disillusion I would feel every morning I wake up, just tear me apart. We were not together very long before I lost it, but the idea of its there with me each and every moment inspired me and made me so happy and fearless for the past few weeks.

for a very merry (though raining in Seattle) Christmas!

Wish all our friends a happy holiday and a wonderful new  year! 

Hope gifts will pile up under the tree next year!

NLp blog

Existentialism in literature and film podcast by Professor Hubert Dreyfus

Gapminder: animation shows the world inequality

My Netflix subscription is not really a money-saving deal. I realized only watched 1 movie (history of violence, which is surprisingly good here and there, but surprisingly not that good as a whole) in the past three weeks; I figured I should not pay more than I need for cinema, so I watched another one-crime and punishment, o, I am sorry, it’s actually “Match Point”, Woody Allen’s continuous discussion of moral universe vs. survival of the fittest (or luckiest) after his Crime and Misdemeanors. There is not so much punishment, as heavily present in the original novels, as in both movies. A crime is not a crime if not uncovered, and the world goes on turning and everyone goes on living. There is no good or bad, but only win or lose. Then there is this moment when the murderer confronts his victims in his hallucination and says he wished he would be caught and punished, so he could see a sign of justice and a small measurement of hope for measurement of meaning. It’s the only Allen’s movie Bin can sit through, because, I guess, the old man is not keep talking to himself all the time (which is not that annoying to me most of time, especially in Crime and Demeanors and Deconstructing Harry). 

I will not write anything about Da Vinci code if I had not read an old issue of business Week about how popular the book and movie are in France today and how Paris’ tourism are boosted by the book; and I would not written anything if I had not seen a whole two shelves of Da Vinci Code interpretation at Philosophy session when I looked for “Fear and Trembling” at Barns & Noble. I would not have read it if there had not been 6 people at the boarding gate reading it when my connecting flight at Newark from Amsterdam to Seattle was 4 hours delayed by a storm. Coming back from Rome and Florence, I thought I might find something in it to relate to my trip…Well, it’s a page turner, for sure, interesting story, something like Popular Science plus Reader’s Digest plus Agatha Christie (sorry,  that’s the most recent detective book author I’ve read). Interesting read, but the bigger question popped into my mind afterwards is “why is it so hot?”, not only among 40 million readers, but also all the critics, historians and philosophers, and now the French and Louvre curator! I bet they ponder on the same question as me but everyone is happy to be part of this big phenomenon. It looks like the book provides a rare platform/stage for all the high-brows to get in touch with the audience of pop culture, and that’s the where its value is at. Let’s just all jump onto the bandwagon and make catholic church even a bigger issue.