lost a baby at 5 weeks. It hits me hard. everything happens so suddenly, bleeding, slight cramping, then it’s gone, 2 o’clock in the morning. I cried so hard, for being so helpless and powerless when it’s gushed out, for all the fun and beauty this baby is missing in this world, for its fading heartbeat (my imagination) and the tiny invisible body that I didn’t have a chance to hold or even touch. Worst of all, the disillusion that there won’t be another life with me inside anymore, the disillusion I would feel every morning I wake up, just tear me apart. We were not together very long before I lost it, but the idea of its there with me each and every moment inspired me and made me so happy and fearless for the past few weeks.
October 22, 2008
loss
October 20, 2008
my child prodigy
Look at the two bright young parents-no wonder their baby is a genius, who took this photo when she’s 19 months old. This was taken at Capilano park, Vancouver. Our favorite picture so far, and Fifi’s first masterpiece ever. She’s been born a little world traveler and sees so many places with us since she’s little. She’s sincerely curious and happy on new things she sees and experiences. She enjoys food everywhere she went, and eats well on her own, so we could enjoy all the exotic food. She sleeps as soon as the car starts or plane takes off-I bet she can be a journalist or rock star when she grows up-since she adapt herself so well on all the long flights and road trips. And now she has developed this new photographing skills and her dad and mom can finally get into the same picture again.
October 16, 2008
Goodbye and Hello
My very best friend from job left the company today, and I was too busy to give him a proper goodbye. So I want to dedicate this post to Matt-if you happen to read this post and you would know that I come back to blogging, as you’ve encouraged me to. Don’t know how long I can keep on going. But if you keep reading, I might be able to do it a little longer this time. Keep me posted of your new job and life too!